The Runaway 15-02 (Heretical Edge 2)

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As soon as they heard that something was wrong, the others wanted to come with. So, I explained what little I knew as we made our way out of the food court and found a quiet, out-of-the-way area in a corner of the underground parking garage so we could use our transport coins to get back to the station. Not that we actually needed to hide from the crowds, given the Bystander Effect. But transporting like that left energy behind that could theoretically be used to track where we went. Just to avoid anyone… bad passing close to that spot soon and being able to do anything with the energy remnants, we didn’t want to do it in a big public area. Not that we were transporting directly anyway. The spell took us to three different destinations first before depositing us on the station. But still, better safe than sorry. 

In any case, I told them what I knew while we were walking, about Denise in general and what had happened. At least as much as my mother had been able to tell me in a couple sentences. Apparently, the girl had been gone for several weeks, at least. It was hard to be specific, because her parents never actually noticed she was missing. Yeah, that sounded bad, but apparently they believed she was staying with her aunt. Mom’s friend, who went to check up on the girl, actually followed through and went to the aunt’s rather than just assuming it was fine, only to find out that she had no idea where the girl was either. Both Denise’s parents and aunt thought she was with the other. No one actually knew where she was. The girl had completely disappeared.

By the time we emerged from the last of the rapid series of transports into the receiving room on the Star Station, Rebecca was shaking her head. “But who would kidnap her? I mean, do you think it’s related to all that… Fossor stuff?” She said the man’s name in a whisper while twisting her face in disgust at even having to speak it aloud. It looked like bringing him up made her physically ill. Which was a reaction I could definitely sympathize with. 

“It’s too much of a coincidence otherwise,” Koren pointed out while we stepped down from the small platform. “Even if it’s not his people directly, it’s probably connected to him in some way. Why else would she disappear like that?” 

“That’s right.” Mom’s voice was crisp as she marched toward us from the entrance. I could hear the barely constrained emotion and guilt almost like a physical slap. “Someone out there drew a connection between her and Fossor, and now they took her. No.” She stopped, hands tightening. “They could’ve taken her as far back as three weeks ago. Anything could’ve happened to her, any–” 

“Mom.” I quickly moved that way, catching her hands. “You had no reason to think she was in any danger. She’s just a normal kid, and both Fossor and Ammon are gone. They’re gone. Nobody had any reason to think anyone would be after her. And you still sent someone to check on her. It’s– there’s nothing else you really could’ve done, not with what we knew.” 

From the look on her face, I was pretty sure that wasn’t helping. I felt my insides twist almost painfully. This was Mom’s win over what Fossor had done to her son. She couldn’t bring back any of Ammon’s other victims, she couldn’t bring back Ammon himself. She couldn’t fix what Fossor had done to him, couldn’t save her little boy. But the one thing she had been able to do was make sure that he stayed dead and couldn’t be used to do any more evil, while giving one of his victims her life back. That was the only thing she had been able to actually do for the little boy she loved. And now someone had attacked that. Someone took Denise, to do… who knew what. No wonder Mom seemed like she was right on the edge of falling apart. This wasn’t just about Denise, awful as that was. It was about Fossor, Ammon, and all the rest of that horror. This was the one thing from that time, from what had been done to her son, that she had been able to fix. 

Tabbris and December had jogged up to join us by then, and while the latter stayed back a few steps, Tabbris herself came forward and caught my mother’s arm with both hands. Her voice was quiet, yet firm. “We can still find her, right? We can still figure out where she is and get her back.” Left unspoken, of course, was the fact that we would only be able to find her if she was still alive. To say nothing of the fear about what had been done to her in all that time. 

Koren spoke quickly. “Yeah, we can find her. I mean, it probably won’t be easy, but… at least we can find out how she’s doing. You know, make sure she’s still…” She trailed off, clearly not wanting to say the worst option aloud, even though we were all thinking it. 

Visibly shoving that thought down, Koren continued. “The kid had to leave DNA at her house. You know, on her toothbrush or comb or whatever. All we have to do is find some of that. There’s a spell we can use to see how she’s doing. I mean, umm, physically. It should still be connected to her enough for that.”

“Can you track her with it?” Rebecca quickly asked. “I mean, if you can use her DNA to check what sort of… umm, shape she’s in, can you use it to find out where she is?” 

“It’snotreallythateasy,” December abruptly put in. “Ifshe’snotreallyclose… towhereyou’reusingthespell….itwon’tfindheratall… oryou’dhavetouse… somuchpowertomakeit….reachasfarasitneedsto… you’ddrainalltheenergyinthiswholeplace.”

Mom gave a short nod. “December’s right. That sort of spell works at relatively close range. Even the strongest ones I’ve seen are limited to the general vicinity of a city. And we don’t have the extra power to spare for a big thing like that. Every bit of extra energy anyone’s had for the past few weeks has gone to boosting Liesje’s spell.” Her gaze hardened a bit then. “But there are other ways to find her, and we’re going to. First, we go to her house and get that DNA. I already have a few others checking the aunt’s house, just in case there’s anything there. We don’t know when exactly she disappeared. She might’ve been there for awhile after all. We just–we don’t have any time to waste. Not when she could’ve been missing for three weeks already.” 

“What about Wyatt, and Deveron?” I spoke up. “Or Sariel, they could all–” 

“No.” Her head shook, clearly regretting the answer she had to give. “They’re working on the spell. We can’t interrupt them. It’s too important and they’ve been working too hard. That sort of magic, it’s… so specific, about every little detail. Including when you cast it, and everything about the day itself. Throwing that off, even a little bit, would mean weeks more work.” Even as she said that, I could tell that it was taking everything mom had not to insist anyway. She was desperate to find Denise. But we all knew how important getting the anti-possession spell running was. Denise was important too, of course. Yet there were a lot of people who could be saved with this spell. It was so hard to even think that way. It made me feel like a monster. But we couldn’t interrupt the work on that spell. Not when they were so close after spending such a long time on it. Denise was important, but so were all the people who would be saved or protected by the anti-possession magic. If it was interrupted now, there was no telling how long it would take to reset everything. As horrible as it felt, we had to figure out what happened to the kid without pulling in the whole cavalry. 

“We’ll find her,” I announced, forcing my voice to sound confident. “We’ll do it ourselves.

“So let’s stop wasting time and get down there.” 


Both of Denise’s parents were at work. Because, of course, they had no idea there was anything wrong with their daughter. And we weren’t going to tell them, at least not yet. With a lot of luck, maybe we could find the girl before that was necessary. It wasn’t as though they could actually contribute in any way to find her. Hell, they wouldn’t even be able to retain the information about what was really going on if we did try to explain the situation. 

In any case, it wasn’t exactly hard to get into the house. Mom disabled the alarm and we spread out to look around. We weren’t just looking for her DNA. We also wanted to see if there were any hints about where she might have gone or what happened. There were a few spells we could use to see if any Alters had been around the house within the past couple months, as well as a few other things. If there was anything to find in this place, we were going to find it. 

At the moment, I was down on my side, peering under Denise’s bed to see if she had left anything important there. Mom was in the hallway behind me, working on those Alter-detecting enchantments. A bit further away in one of the other rooms, I could hear one of the others playing messages off the telephone on the very slim chance that might tell us anything. 

Unfortunately, there was nothing under the bed aside from some old shoes and stuffed animals. I pushed myself out and turned just as my mother stepped into the room. She was holding a black coin the size of a half-dollar. As soon as she stepped inside, the coin flickered, glowing red very briefly, then blue, then it went back to dull black. A moment later, it flickered again before going out. Wherever she moved it while moving slowly around the room, the coin flickered for a brief second or two, went out again, then flickered once more, repeating that.  

“Uhh…” I stared that way, frowning as the thing continued to glow, then not glow, then glow again. “I thought it was supposed to glow if there was any sign of an Alter being around here. What does it mean if it flickers like that? Is it just detecting a tiny hint or something?” 

Mom shook her head, frowning as well as she held the thing out between us. “No. If it detects anything at all, it’s supposed to glow. Red is if it’s detecting only the faintest trace, blue is a little stronger. If it was green, there would’ve been an Alter here within the past few days. Flickering like this… maybe something’s blocking it. Check for any spells that might’ve been left behind.” 

So, we started to do that as well. I checked in the usual places, along the baseboard, behind furniture, in the closet, and so on. I used that time to keep looking for any clues about what happened to the girl as well, also to no avail. 

At least, to no avail until I pushed the clothes and toys out of the way to check the back wall for any runes. I didn’t exactly find a spell, but I definitely found something interesting. As my eyes scanned over what I’d found there, I felt a chill run through me. “Mom!” I called. “Look at this.” 

She came quickly, and I stepped aside a bit to show her. There were words carved into almost the entire surface of the rear wall of the closet. Two words repeated over and over again, often carved on top of each other. Him Me Him Me Him Me Him Me. It went on and on like that, the words carved with some sort of knife. It was incredibly creepy to stare at. Worse, and more tellingly just in case we hadn’t gotten the point yet, there were much larger letters carved on top of those ones. Three letters, A-M-M. Then those were crossed out with what had clearly been a quick series of sharp jagged cuts. AMM. Ammon. She started to carve Ammon into the wall. Him, Me, Him, Me, Him, Me, then the start of the name Ammon? This… this was bad. 

Also, as soon as Mom stepped up to the closet, the Alter-detection coin began to glow once more. It was still flickering, but more slowly. It stayed lit up longer between flashes of darkness.  Either whatever was partially blocking it was weaker here, or the detection itself was just stronger in this spot, or… or… I had no idea. Mom said, it wasn’t supposed to work like that. If it was detecting anything, it should just light up, period. This whole flickering thing was… weird. Between that and the words carved in the wall, a cold shiver ran down my spine once more. 

“She remembers,” Mom murmured, sounding stricken as she reached out to touch the carved letters. “That should be impossible. She shouldn’t remember anything.” Her voice shook a little from the implication that this little girl actually even partially remembered what had happened to her. 

The two of us stood there, staring at the words carved into the wall for several long seconds. Then we were interrupted when Rebecca stepped into the room behind us. She was holding what looked like an appointment book in one hand and a tablet computer in the other. “Hey, umm, I don’t know if this means anything, but it turns out this girl’s mom was trying to get her to see a therapist. I mean, she got her to see one, but the girl wouldn’t go back to her again. So she was trying to get her to go to another one. Something about nightmares she was having.” 

“That’s not all.” Koren had joined her in the doorway, holding up two thick books I couldn’t see the titles of. “These were in the garage, hidden in a box full of balls and outside toys. Looks like they were checked out of the library a few weeks ago, in her name. They’re all about umm… mind control. Pretty heavy stuff. Looks like the kid had a lot she wanted to go back over again.” She showed us where a lot of the pages had strips of cloth, string, or other bookmarks, as if the reader had simply shoved whatever was in their pocket to mark the spot. 

Yeah, this had moved further and further into unsettling and creepy. Denise, as far as she or anyone else around her should have known, was like eleven years old. Even if we hadn’t seen the partial name and those words carved into the wall, one thing still would have been clear. The only reason she could possibly have for being obsessed with reading about mind control from adult books was if she actually remembered Ammon using it on her. 

Mom’s gaze moved from the books back to the words carved into the wall of the closet. “This is all wrong. It can’t… she can’t remember this… why would she remember anything?” 

“What’s going on?” That was Tabbris, as she and December arrived. “What happened?” 

We went through it all, the books, the therapist appointments, the words carved into the wall, everything. With all that put together, it sure sounded like the girl was sort of remembering at least part of what happened to her. Which had to be unbelievably traumatizing. I couldn’t imagine being a little kid and experiencing those sort of nightmares. 

“But what about the thing with the Alter detector?” Koren brought up. “Could that maybe be from someone like… projecting memories or thoughts or whatever into her head from a distance? I mean, if they aren’t fully physically present, maybe that could screw up the detection?” 

Mom seemed to consider that for a moment, looking at the coin in question as it continued to flicker. “Perhaps,” she murmured thoughtfully, before her gaze darkened. “But when we find whoever was responsible for that, whoever… took…” She trailed off, clearly taking everything she had to control her reaction. I was pretty sure she was even more upset than I was, and that was saying something, because I felt like putting my fist through the nearby wall a few times. 

Denise was fine! Why would she–why was she–who could possibly have…

“I need to call Asenath,” I murmured. “She thought this was over too. I mean, she got into this whole thing by trying to find out what happened to Denise the first time. I have to tell her. She can help.” 

“It’ll be dark in half an hour,” my mother informed me while glancing toward the nearby window. “Let her sleep until then. Maybe we can find something else, something better than bad news.” 

“I got this,” Rebecca announced, holding up a hand with a pink and purple hairbrush. “Pretty sure it’s hers. Can you do the spell with that?” 

Mom confirmed that she could and then took the brush down to the kitchen table to get started on that. Meanwhile, the rest of us kept looking around in the vain hope of finding something else useful. I was almost afraid to look in more closets or behind more dressers, just in case there were more creepy carvings. It was horrible to think about what had to be going through that girl’s mind to wonder if Ammon was still controlling her, to the point that she was carving those words into the wood. But I did anyway. We had to know just how bad of shape she was in. Though, to be fair, maybe the fact we were to the point of checking for how many bits of wall in her house she had carved rambling, repeating words into with a knife, sort of answered the question. 

Fortunately, or unfortunately given it might have helped, we didn’t find any more carvings. Nor did we find anything that could have told us where the kid went or who took her. It would take longer for Mom to work her way through the spell, given how thorough she was being. So, when we were done with the search, I took the time to call Asenath. 

That… was not a fun conversation. As soon as I told her what had happened, at least as much as we knew, the other girl went quiet for a few seconds. I could almost picture her face, staring at open air as she fought to contain herself. I knew exactly what she was feel–no, I didn’t. Close, but I did not know exactly what she was feeling. She had been hired to find out the truth about Denise’s murder, and that was what led to her meeting me and everything else that happened since then. She’d thought she had closure on the whole thing when Ammon died, and then closure of a better sort when Mom told her about Denise being brought back. Now this had happened and that closure was ripped away. 

“Who?” Her voice was a cold demand, brittle from anger that she was barely restraining. “Who took her?” 

“We don’t know,” I admitted. “Not yet. But we’re tracking her down. Mom’s working on a spell to… you know, check on her umm, physical state. It should tell us how healthy she is, whether she’s been drugged or enchanted, that sort of thing. Might even point us in her direction if she’s close enough and they haven’t blocked that.” Not that I had much faith in whoever had taken Denise being dumb enough for that. But hey, we had to try everything. Besides, that was even considering someone had physically taken her. Considering what we’d been finding around this house,  I had this nagging thought in the back of my head that all these nightmares she was clearly having could have driven her to run away. Or maybe…

“Wait,” I said aloud. “If she was having dreams about… about what happened, do you think she might’ve actually seen where it happened? I mean, the… the gas station. What if she went there to–I don’t know, to try to get some answers? It’s nearby, right?”

Both Koren and Asenath immediately confirmed that it was only a few blocks away from the house. So, I checked in with Mom, made sure she was gonna be okay there by herself working on that spell, and told her what we were going to do. It would still be hours before the girl’s parents got home, so we were good on that front. 

“Okay, Senny,” I announced while heading for the door with the others right behind me. “We’ll meet you at that gas station. 

“Let’s hope there’s someone or something there that can give us some clue of what the hell is going on.” 

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  1. And there is the second Heretical Edge chapter for this week. Now we’re back on the correct schedule, whoo! Thanks so much for bearing with me on that, and I hope you all enjoyed this bit. If you did and would like to show it, maybe you could boost this story on Top Web Fiction right here! Thanks for that as well, and your tags are: December, Don’t Worry‚ Flick‚ The Audience Probably Doesn’t Want The Anti Possession Spell Dragged Out Any Longer Either, Felicity Chambers, Flick, I Know I Said It Would Be Interesting To See Denny’s Story Only From Her POV And Knowledge‚ But Imagine Seeing It From Only THIS POV‚ Not Knowing What Happened, Joselyn Chambers, Koren Fellows, Rebecca Jameson, Tabbris, You Guys Could Get A LOT Of Answers If You Went To Ask That Therapist.

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  2. Thanks for the chapter!
    This arc reminds us that the only power the Scooby gang lacks is mind reading, mind control.
    Aside from that they cover up most imagined forms of magic, don’t they?

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  3. Hmm, it’s a good idea, but I don’t know that going to the gas station will help. They may remember seeing Denise there, but no-one will remember anything out of the ordinary happening.

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  4. and creepy. Denny, as far

    All other times (outside of tags) she’s referred to as “Denise”, as she should be, because Flick and company don’t know she wants to go by a nickname.

    I’m really hoping next chapter starts with, or that before the halfway point has, the group finding out she’s safe at the Auberge. I get the whole “the characters don’t know the truth so of course they are reacting under worst case scenario protocols” but we the readers know what’s really going on so this isn’t tense, it’s just tedious. We know there isn’t any danger here, no stakes, no consequence of failure, no real driving force for us to keep reading watching the characters spin their wheels on something that doesn’t matter..

    This comes from having gotten the Interlude 14A before all of this. If we hadn’t gotten that chapter then we’d have more investment into the “mystery” on why Denise is missing. Having had her first one, where we find out she’s got some of Ammon’s memories and powers as well as fragments of her own previous memories and maybe even memories of other people (it’s somewhat ambiguous to me if the only memories not her own are from Ammon) would give us the framework to know that she isn’t protected by The Bystander Effect anymore so maybe she ran into someone or something that took her away, that was immune to her control power in some fashion or just knocked her out beforehand or talked her into coming with them or any other number of scenarios you can’t mind control your way out of. But because of Interlude 14A we know she’s physically safe if not emotionally fine and in danger of being mentally unstable. But because we know she’s the cause of her “disappearance” all of this drama and fret from the other characters falls flat and is just pointless.
    At least to me.

    This is a case of mistiming the interlude. If we had gotten it at the end of THIS arc, as a flashback on how she got to the point they find her, then it would have worked a lot better narrative wise. But because it came first we know ahead of time that all this effort to find her is wasted. It doesn’t matter. There is no ticking clock.
    I get that this sort of thing happens all of the time in real life, but that doesn’t change how it feels to watch a scenario play out where you know all of the effort put in to it was for nothing, that it wasn’t needed.
    Even at the end of things it’d hit differently, if we hadn’t gotten Interlude 14A first, if we only found out about it after or at the same time the characters did. That’d make it more of a “We did all this for nothing?” letdown empathic moment instead of the “They are doing this for nothing” frustrating moment we’ve got going on right now.

    I’m all for drama in stories, but I want that drama to matter, or at least have the illusion of mattering. Right now we the readers know all of this drama is for nothing, because Denise is physically fine and is even getting help already. Maybe not to the full extent she needs but more than she’s had up to this point.

    I’m not sure if I’m articulating this right or not. I just want this not-needed drama to be over with. There isn’t any gain of going though all of it when we already know what the outcome will be.

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    1. Gah, thanks for the correction on Denny. I even checked multiple times that I hadn’t written it, but stopped before the end. Oops. Thanks again.

      As for the rest of it, thanks for taking the time and effort to put your thoughts out clearly. I do appreciate it. And I understand where you’re coming from. I Just… I think it’s possible to have investment even while knowing both sides of the situation. Seeing how they find out what’s going on, how they react to things, what happens during the course of their investigation, and so on, is also important, I feel. Again, I understand where you’re coming from and sympathize, I just disagree a bit that it’s necessarily impossible to have investment in it while already knowing what is happening with Denise.

      Also, I don’t really think they’re doing it for nothing. After all, it’s not like the Auberge can tell Denny what is ACTUALLY happening to her, you know? There’s so much they don’t know, and they have no real reason to reach out to Flick/Joselyn to tell them they found Denise because they don’t know about the connection there. Denise still needs help and answers that she can’t necessarily get with the Auberge, and the only way she’ll get that is if Flick and company find her. Which, again, would not necessarily happen with things as they are.


      1. Welcome, things get missed in editing. It happens.

        As for the second half of things, it is not that I’m not invested in them finding out what is going on with Denny I just hate seeing the level of effort they are, rightfully, putting into finding her when we the readers know she’s not in, physical, danger. Which is, again rightfully, the assumption the characters are making.
        Me saying that it is being done “for nothing” is somewhat hyperbolic, Denny does need to talk with Jos and the people at the Auberge don’t know that but this is another case of readers having more information than the characters in story. WE know that the Auberge staff are on good terms with The Resistance and while contacting them might not be their first thought it would be a thought at some point. That “Hey, maybe this is a natural Heretic sort of thing so maybe we should call the actual Heretics in on this? The ones we can trust that is.”

        It all boils down to information, and what we the readers know beyond what the characters know.
        For what the characters know they are reacting as they should react, with full on “Everything we can spare” all dials high all petals to the floor and so on. It’s not how they are reacting, it’s just that because of 14A we the readers know that Denny is physically safe and is in a safe location getting at least some level of information and help. So seeing so much effort going into “saving” her when he doesn’t need to be saved is (mostly) pointless drama.

        This sort of thing happens in real life, very close to this scenario. A kid goes missing and the whole town turns out to look for them, people running about and staying up twelve, fourteen hours at a time and working themselves to the bone to try and find them only to learn the kid was ‘trapped’ in the attic the whole time. Everyone had a logical response to the situation but if anyone watching it all unfold (and unable to interact with the players involved) knew where the kid was and that they were not in any danger it’d not be as effective as if they didn’t know where the kid was the whole time.

        My problem isn’t with this arc, my problem with with 14A having been released when it was. 14A removes all narrative tension in this arc. We already know Denny isn’t being held against her will somewhere, we already know she wasn’t kidnapped but ran away, we already know that all of the effort going into finding her is, while not “totally wasted”, not as urgent and needed as the characters think it is.
        Had 14A not been released when it was then we’d have narrative tension, we’d not know what was going on. I think the closest equivalent I can think of right now is that if you were writing a murder mystery you’d not show who the killer was in the middle of the book. A good example here might be the show CSI, where they (I think, I stopped watching after Grissom left) only once showed us who the killer was at the start of things and then the episode wasn’t about working out who did it and was more focused on how the team finds him, the entire episode had a different tone and framework than normal because they worked from a different starting point and that ep was one of the better ones.

        This current arc is being written as if we the readers didn’t already know what we going on with Denny, and to me it really suffers for that. All of the character’s worry and fear is entirely justified from their point of view but it just falls flat to me because I know what’s going on on the other end. There are joke tags about only getting one side of things and in this case it’d have been a lot better for us to not know the events of 14A. I would be much more engaged in things if there was the potential for risk.
        Before 14A we knew Denny was getting more and more of Ammon, more memories, more control, more powers. Before 14A there was the chance that maybe something slipped and she got into real trouble, maybe she couldn’t hold back well enough and did something kinda bad, not murder bad but still something not-good. Maybe she got into a situation she couldn’t “talk” her way out of (lot of deaf people in the world after all). 14A removed all of those possibilities by showing us what happened. There can be no narrative tension when the main things trying to cause tension are already shown to be false.

        I love this story, it is very well written and it shows that you’ve taken care to weave the plot threads throughout. We’ve had hints of things going on in the background and the payoff for them was great, and there are still a lot of things that have been set-up that haven’t paid out yet which is really good.
        I complained before about “action fatigue” when we didn’t get any proper rest chapters and it was just actionactionaction and now I’m complaining about “too much information spoiling the narrative style”. You’re trying to write this arc like a murder-mystery or a thriller, but have already told us there isn’t a killer to be worried about hiding in the bushes. It’s the equivalent of snickering behind your hand while people search a room for an object that is in plain sight.

        I just really wish 14A hadn’t been released before this arc. Not knowing the events of 14A would make this current arc feel more impactful, more relevant. We’d be working out the mystery along with the characters instead of already knowing the answer and just waiting for them to catch up.

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      2. Thanks so much once again for putting so much effort into explaining your side. I appreciate it. I want you to know that for sure. Even if I don’t 100% agree, I appreciate the effort and time. I fully sympathize with your point of view, and you raise fine points. That said, I would ask that you hold off a little bit on final judgment until the end of this particular storyline. That is not to say that it will necessarily fully satisfy you, as not every story arc is going to be for everyone. And I understand what you mean about how different it would be if you didn’t know the events of 14A.

        That said, I am still of the opinion that the journey can be just as important as the destination, so to speak. HOW the characters react to this whole situation, how they find Denny, how they react to what they see along the way, all of it can be quite interesting. Not necessarily to everyone, but to some. I have had remarks from people who are enjoying this arc a lot. That’s not to discount your point or opinion *at all*, just to say that some enjoy it more and some don’t. As I said, not every story arc is going to be to everyone’s satisfaction. And that’s okay! I’m glad you enjoy the story overall and I’m glad you spoke up.

        Yes, I realize that this is like reading a murder mystery while already knowing who the killer is. But I don’t think that is inherently terrible. I’ve never personally cared much about having things ‘spoiled’ for me ahead of time before reading or watching something, so maybe that’s coloring things on my end. The point is, I do not think that the audience knowing where Denny is necessarily ruins the plot. I believe it can be just as entertaining to see how Flick and company get to that point themselves, how they track her down, even if the readers know what the final answer is.

        Basically, there’s the sort of plot where the character the audience is following knows some secret plan that they deliberately don’t tell the audience. The character knows what’s going on, but the reader/watcher doesn’t. This is my way of kind of reversing that a bit and creating a situation where the reader is more knowledgable than the character. It’s a little… different and it’s totally fair if you don’t enjoy it as much. I’ve been writing this story for quite a long time now, and just felt like doing something a little different for this little plot. Have no fear, however, there will be plenty of storylines coming up where the audience is totally clueless about the state of things. Maybe sooner than you think. 😉


    2. vladspellbinder – I totally agree with you, having the interlude first removes any dramatic tension from this chapter (& presumably subsequent chapters until they find her).

      Don’t get me wrong, I’m still enjoying the heck out of the story, this is probably one of the best I’ve read in years!

      Cerulean – “Journey before Destination”? Are we going to get some Cosmere crossover?! 😀

      Hmmmm, I’m finding it suspicious that OG Denny had contact with both ‘lil Denny & Jos not too long ago… What are the odds that this is all going just-as-planned (TM) by master puppeteer Denuvus? I wonder if Maestro is the big enemy that Denuvus mentioned before…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yup, as I mentioned above, definitely understand people who think it would have been better to not know what was happening with Denny. Just happened to go a different way with it in this case. And, well, there was still a bit of a surprise later on anyway. 😉

        And haha, probably no crossover action with Cosmere. I only have a very slight knowledge of Sanderson’s works, though they’ve been highly recommended.

        As for the last bit, it IS kind of interesting that both Denuvus and Denise can shorten to Denny and both have the voice power, huh?

        Liked by 1 person

  5. You Guys Could Get A LOT Of Answers If You Went To Ask That Therapist.

    Maybe. They might just get “My name is Denuvis. Drop this, forget about it and Denise and go on about your business.”

    I also have a suspicion that the reason Jocelyn knew that anything needed to be done about Ammon Pooka-reincarnating and what to do about it is because of the visit from Denuvis she had while Fossor’s captive.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Flick: *sees him open door and sees a woman in the background behind him run out of her sight* Yeah, hi, we’re here to see a therapist named Megan

    Him: Ohhh, so sorry, i would love to tell you that she’s here but uhhh…. *tries to come up with good lie and then hears the window shatter at the same time that Flick sees the woman leap out of the window behind him* She just left 🙂

    Flick: (T _ T) *hears stolen car engine starting up form the direction “Megan” most likely went after leaping out through the window*

    Liked by 1 person

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